You know that
moment when you come face to face with the crazy in your world and have to
decide whether to lean full into it or figure out how to accept or change it? That moment struck me hard and fierce this
morning. I woke up sad, and angry, and
scared. I’ve been fighting those
feelings most of February for a host of reasons. I’ve tried squashing them, ignoring them, and
denying them. None of those strategies
have been in the least bit successful. So
this morning I started just to let them out.
Out of sheer desperation, (why does it have to come to that), I opened
my devotional.
The first
line: “Never become extremely upset over your circumstances.”
Me: Shut Up!!
Are you kidding me?
It goes on: “’Do
not fret.’ Never get unduly upset! Stay
cool! Even for a good reason, worrying
will not help you.”
Me: For
the love!! Fine!! Slap me with truth. Geez!!
At this point, it was exceedingly clear
that I needed to finish. The words were
piercing my heart and soul. Honestly, it
was a little frustrating. I have some
blasted good reasons for being upset.
The truth of the words, however, is real. Never once has worry solved a problem. Worry hurts me and produces no positive
change. Rationally thinking through the
issues so as to arrive at a workable solution – that might work. Sharing my thoughts and ideas on the subject
with those who might be able to effect some change – that might work. Accepting that sometimes, “it just is what it
is” and determining what I can do in spite of it – that might work. Repeatedly fretting over situations that I
cannot change – never going to work.
So, I slowed down. Took a deep breath. And read the rest.
Dear Restless Heart
“Dear restless heart, be still;
don’t fret and worry so;
God has a thousand ways His
love and help to show;
Just trust, and trust, and
trust, until His will you know.
Dear restless heart, be
still, for peace is God’s own
smile,
His love can every wrong and
sorrow reconcile;
Just love, and love, and
love, and calmly wait awhile.
Dear restless heart, be brave; don’t moan and
sorrow so,
He has a meaning kin in
chilly winds that blows;
Just hope, and hope, and
hope, until you braver grow.
Dear
restless heart, recline upon His breast this hour,
His grace is strength and life, His love is
bloom and
flower;
Just rest, and rest, and rest, within His
tender power,
Dear restless heart, be still! Don’t struggle to be free;
God’s life is in your life, from Him you may
not flee;
Just pray, and pray, and pray, till you have
faith to see.”
Edith Willis Linn
I am continuing to allow those
words to soak in and change the frantic pace of my heart. I am tossing them about and trying to really
grasp the truth contained in them. There
are times when just going full tilt into crazy seems like the best choice. Wallowing in self-pity, and anger, and
frustration appears to be easier. Initially, it might well be easier. It would not. however, remain easy. Thus, the plan has to be acceptance or
change. For me, most of my crazy is out
of my control. What I can control, is my
reaction. So, for today at least, I am choosing
to be still and rest in Him. God is bigger and He's got this.
