I have a beautiful new friend. She has lovely brown eyes and long blond hair. She has five gorgeous children. Three of them share her skin color. Two of them do not. Those two little people who have different colored skin have been through so much. They were orphaned in a country that could barely care for them. They had to transition from one country to another one that is so very different in almost every conceivable way. They were eagerly gathered into a family that loves them, but they were not equipped with the ability to comprehend such love. They were thrust into a new culture that is vastly different from their own. They had to adjust to new siblings, new rules, new Every. Single. Thing.

      My new friend has just shared some of the progress these kiddos have made. They are learning. Learning what it means to have a safe place to stay. Learning that some people don't leave. Learning that rules serve a purpose. Learning that they are loved unconditionally.

     Frequently, I look at a picture she shared with me. In the picture she is kneeling in the grass beside her adopted daughter, and for the very first time her daughter is allowing her to comfort her. Lightly, ever so gently, my friend's arm is draped over her daughter's shoulder as the little girl cries. Six months it has taken to get to this point. To the point where she is even allowed to try and make her little girl feel better when she is hurting. Six months to get to the point where she can touch her in love.

      As I read reports of what happened in Texas, I can't help but think of her and all 5 of her children. I am not trying to make a political statement. Regardless of your opinion on what happened and why - it appears to be completely true that the three children who have light colored skin would be at much less risk than the two who have darker skin. She has to be fearful for these kids who have stolen her heart and taken up every bit of energy she's had for six months. No mother should live in fear because her children have a certain color of skin.

     I believe that people should listen when police officers give them instructions. I know that most of us do not understand the entirety of what happened. What we do know is that our country is experiencing racial tension. The evidence is all around us. Marches, protests, prayer meetings, and numerous talks between leaders occur frequently.

     For the sake of my new friend, and the many who are in her position, it is imperative that we start discussing this issue with less emotion and more thought. We need to let down our preconceived notions and attempt to see the view of the person on the other side.      My fourth graders learn about active listening. Active listening requires that the listener is not only hearing the words but thinking about them. It also requires that they are not formulating a response to what is being stated. They are just listening. That is my goal right now - to actively listen to what all sides are saying so that I can do my part to help ease this tension. 

Five Minute Friday - Meet

Five Minute Friday - Meet

     Two months ago I would have insisted that to create and maintain a true friendship you would have to meet that person, in real life.  I would have told you that you couldn't know a person's heart through a screen.  There are very valid reasons for this position.  What that thought does not take into account is what happens when people, who are hungry for authenticity and realness, are brought together by God.  I have discussed #the4500 at length in several other posts.  I am aware that to the outside world it sounds just a wee bit crazy.  Okay, maybe a lot crazy.  Two months ago I would have agreed wholeheartedly.  But it's not.  Talking with these amazing women, reading their words, praying for them, being prayed for by them, sharing heartbreak and victory with them, has changed me.  It has made me more brave than I have been in years.  It has given me the courage to meet with two incredible women, in real life, who are willing to share life with me as well.  These women spread out all over the country have given me confidence, wisdom, and strength.  They have given me books to read, thoughts to ponder, and the encouragement to dream big.  The critical piece of this whole community is the real.  Not one woman has tried to be perfect.  Not one has shown themselves as having it all together.  Not one has made themselves better than another.  Each one of us has come just as we are and shared from our hearts.  We have crossed over the selfie boundary and shared videos so that we can hear and see each other.  We have texted, and messaged, and laughed and cried. All of this points to how needed this real version of life is to all of us.  All of to one extent or the other, is drowning in something.  Our hearts and minds long to hear that we are not alone, we are not crazy, and we might have ideas and thoughts that are worthy of being heard.  Every single person you meet - whether in real life - or on this whole new world of social media - has a struggle.  Every person has a need and a desire.  My hope is that we would start treating each other with more grace, more mercy, and more kindness.  Including ourselves.  

Friendships Need Follow Through

What I am Learning from #the4500

Part One of Like a Billion

     Lesson One:  Friendships need follow through.  Yesterday, I got happy mail!  I received an actual envelope with my name handwritten and inside, a sweet card and a gift.  Not my birthday, not an anniversary, just because.  I smiled, I giggled, and I was greatly encouraged. This friend had thought of me, prayed for me, and then followed through on an idea.  It made a huge difference in my life.  It also reminded me of the truth that friendships need follow through.  Follow through can mean a lot of different things.  The essential part is action, doing something.  This is the hard part for me.  If you want to text – I’m in.  If you need prayer – I am on it – often.  Actually showing up for dinner, making a phone call, mailing the letter I wrote – that is hard for me.  I don’t know all the reasons why, I just know I struggle to follow through.  But I am learning that the benefits of action added to thought are abundant and plentiful.  They are more than worth stepping out of my comfort zone.  To my friends who have been patiently waiting for me to figure this out – thank you for loving on me and living this out as an example.  Thank you for your patience and your repeated attempts to engage me – even when I don’t respond.  To my new friends in #the4500 thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone.  Thank you for concrete examples of what friendship looks like.  To my dear new friend who made my day yesterday – you have no idea how much you have blessed me, and pushed me.  I am so glad to call you friend.  To my precious friend with whom I have been giving my best effort to follow through with lately – that is just how special you are – no, really – you are that special.  To any woman who is reading this – let’s do this friendship thing better.  Let’s act more than we talk.  Let’s give more than we get – or at least try.  Let’s do dinner, and phone calls, and happy mail.  Let’s invest in each other – and reap the benefits.

Belong

    I drove into the entrance a little bit excited and a lot scared.  And completely in awe of the beauty surrounding me.  It was the beauty of the place that had brought me back.  My family had visited when I was a teenager and longed to return to the mountains.  I got my opportunity as summer staff at the camp we had visited.  Drove across the country for the chance.  But I was alone.  What awaited me?  Who awaited me? Would I find a place where I belonged?  People with whom I belonged?
     It is the desire of our hearts.  To belong.  To know and be known.  To be wanted.  We are desperate for it.  We do crazy things to try and obtain it.  And sometimes we find that place and those people.  What a rare and beautiful gift.  I found it in that place.  On that mountain, where the steeple lit up the night in striking colors.  Inside the rooms of a preschool where we passed the bean bags and drank untold amounts of apple juice.  Down the sidewalks where we walked, up and down,  and up and down, with a stroller that held six.
     There, in that place, people belonged.  Not because we were all the same.  Or because we thought the same.  But because we were in it together.  We shared the same experiences, the same goals, and the same terrible dining hall food.  And it brought us together.  Gave us a place where we all belonged.
   

Close - Five Minute Friday

Close requires risk.  It means you are putting your heart out there to trust and care for another person.  It means that someone else now has the power to wound you.  But it also means that you allow someone else to encourage you, build you up, and enrich you.

Close requires work.  It means you spend time being physically close to someone.  It means you spend time talking to someone.  It means you forgive when you are hurt.  And it means asking for forgiveness when you are the one who has done the hurting.

Close requires giving and receiving.  It means that you give of your time, your energy, and your heart.  It means putting someone else's needs and wants above your own.  But you must also receive these same gifts. You have to allow others to give to you.  Which often means being humbled.

Close is a blessing.  Close is friendship and love.  Close is necessary.  God didn't design us to do this alone. He designed us to experience closeness with Himself and with others.  Spend some time today being close. Close to Him and close to those you love.