Come quickly Sunday

Sunday is coming.  This is truth.  A beautiful, life giving, hope sustaining truth.  Friday and Saturday are long, though.  So very long and hard.  The time between that which breaks your heart and leaves you undone and when healing touches you is almost unbearable.  When I think of Jesus saying, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me”, I know that He gets it.  No pain could be more raw, more desperate than the Son of God being ripped apart from His Father.  He knows and understand loneliness, disappointment, poverty, and betrayal.  He wants to walk with you through yours.  He wants to love you, and guide you, and comfort you.  That’s why He was willing to suffer in the first place.  He is not shaming you because you aren’t over it yet.  Saturday teaches us that it takes time.  He is not blaming you for your contribution to your pain – He ushered the convicted thief into paradise.  He does not abandon you because you doubt.  His own disciple doubted and He willingly showed Thomas the wounds in His hands.  He just wants to love on you.  He quite literally knows the way out of Hell.  He wants you to make until Sunday.  Sunday, come quickly!  

Five Minute Friday - Begin

     Begin.  That’s the gist of it all.  Begin.  Start.  Try.  Not, be perfect.  Not, succeed now.  Just, begin.  That’s what Five Minute Friday has done for me, it helped me to begin.  It gave me the freedom and the encouragement I needed to just begin.  Begin to my thoughts down in words.  Begin to allow others to read those thoughts.  Begin to do what my heart longed so to do.  And now that I have begun I can hardly stop.  Words stream through my head constantly.  The computer has become my friend.  I write now without the stress of how it might end.  Because the gist, the point, is to begin.  To start and let it come.  To try and then let come what may.

     What is it that you need to begin today?  Reading the book that speaks to your heart?  Writing that book that speaks to another’s heart?  Laundry?  Dinner?  A friendship?  Go ahead, begin.  Take that first step.  The saying goes that the first is the hardest step.  And so often it is.  Take it.  Go ahead.  Begin what seems impossible and then let it come as it will.  It won’t be all candy and roses.  But it will be.  And being is so much more fulfilling that watching and waiting and wondering.  Beginning and being is worth the risk.  And sometimes, in fact, often the result is beauty, and fulfillment, and joy that can never be replaced. 

Depression and Jesus

     Depression is that thing that makes good things seem insignificant and bad things seem insurmountable.  Depression makes sunny days too bright to bear and cloudy days too dreary to function.  It matters not the weather, it is as if my heart is broken to start the day.  It matters not the circumstances, or the people, or the place.  No doubt, people help make it better.  Those who love and encourage and support are invaluable.  I am blessed to have so many of those people in my life.  But, depression doesn’t have to have a reason.  Sometimes, often in fact, my heart hurts and my brain can’t convince itself or my heart different. 

     There is one thing that brings always brings peace.  Jesus.  My soul has found rest in Him.  Every. Single. Time. The truth that He is God, that He became man, lived a life free of sin, died on a cross, paid my penalty for sin, and rose again is the one thing, the thing, in which I hope.  I find comfort in the words of the Bible for I have seen the promises fulfilled in my life and the lives of others.  The truth of it resonates in every fiber of my being.  And over and over and over again He shows up, comforts, brings peace, and guides my steps. 

     So, I do not speak or write about God or His Son Jesus because I think I know more than anyone else.  I do not speak or write about Jesus to force someone else to believe as I do.  I do not believe because someone told me too or because I think it is what I should do.  I speak and write about the love of my life because He has saved me.  My very being sings His praises.  The core of who I am is sold out to who He is.  There is no other motivation behind anything I write or say.  Do I want you to believe?  Of course, but not because I said so – because you have had a personal, intimate encounter with Him.  Do I want to encourage you?  Absolutely, I believe that is the gift He has given me.  I pray that my writing gives others tools to know Him more, trust Him more, and be strong in Him.  But the meaning of everything I write is just that I love Him and I want to share.  

Grief and Hope

     Something is missing.  Nothing is as it should be.  Everything is just not quite right.  It is a wonder to me that the world continues to function.  That people go about their business as I life hasn’t been rocked to the very core.  It is wonder to me that I continue to function.  Because sometimes, the missing her almost keeps me from keeping on.  Sometimes, the grief is almost too much.

     Grief lingers.  It haunts.  Sometimes it hides, just in the shadows, and for a time I feel relieved.   Then it jumps out and swallows me whole.  Its grip tightens around me.  I have to scratch, and claw, to climb my way out.  But I do.  Because grief is not the end of the story.  Grief is a process.  Yes, it is nasty and ugly much of the time.  Yet, it is also sprinkled with beauty and joy and hope.  Beauty in the memories that make me smile.  Joy in knowing that she is at peace and at home.  Hope in knowing that I will see her again. 

     God is well acquainted with grief.  He full well knows the pain of being separated from the one you love.  He understands mourning.  And He walks through it with us.  He holds us and comforts us.  “Praise the Lord, praise God our Savior!  For each day He carries us in His arms.  Our God is a God who saves!”  Psalm 68:19-20a (NLT)  He promises that He will one day wipe away all our tears.  “He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain…” Revelation 21:4 (NIV)

     And that is more than enough reason to keep on.  

Five Minute Friday - On Monday

Every Friday hundreds of bloggers write for five minutes without over-analyzing or over-editing.  It's a chance to write what is on our hearts and not worry so much about how we write.  Lisa Jo Baker provides a prompt.  One word.  And we all give our thoughts.  I love Five Minute Friday.  I can spend hours reading other people's blogs and being astounded at the beautiful way they weave words together.  And, because the biggest rule is that you must read and comment on the blog before yours, I get the blessing of people reading my words and encouraging me.  This Friday, life got just a little too busy.  And Saturday.  And Sunday. Now it's Monday.  While I may be the last to post a link and no one may read and comment on my blog - I refuse to miss Five Minute Friday.  I crave the freedom and community it affords me.  So I will write.

Five Minute Friday - Prompt - Release

Oh, how beautiful this word sounds to me.  

Release my burdens.  
Let go.  
Unclench my fists.  
Relax my muscles. 
Breathe.  

The thought makes me feel lighter.  More joyful.  

But hands that have been clenched for too long release so slowly.  The joints and muscles have grown so stiff.  So used to clinging on to what lies inside.  And there is great fear in what might fall should they open.  

There are really only two choices though. Keep clenching and clinging and thus choke out joy and hope.  Or, release those things we can't really hold anyway and thus allow for joy and hope to rest gently on our outstretched hands.      

Five Minute Friday - Messenger

Messenger. 

One who brings a message. 

Messages can be life altering. They can bring hope and joy or devastation and sadness. Messages can be small and simple.  They can bring a smile to a face or tears to eyes.  Last night, as I read a message from a friend, I was reminded of how powerfully good human beings can be to each other.  In this instance, people came together and decided to be messengers. Spreading the message that one of their own needed help.  They spread it loud and clear. Their message was heard and received and in just over 48 hours the need of their friend was met in abundance.  It made me think that we all are really messengers.  And we choose to either bring more joy or more sadness.  More smiles or more anger.  The world would be changed if we all chose to share good messages.  If we made it our goal, our job, to inform the world that there is hope, there is a God who loves us, there is beauty, and there is good.